* The Rule to Follow is What is in the Best Interest of the Child.
Family Law is an emotional area of the law, where one's "victory" has less to do with ego and/or finances, but has everything to do with what is best for the child or children. Therefore I make it a point that all of my Family Law clients understand this fact. My clients have discovered that centering everything around the welfare of the children gets them better results and allows them to be the successful adult during sometimes pointlessly protracted litigation.
*Family Law Involves Knowing What Can and Cannot Be Controlled
You no longer have any say over what your spouse does or has done, unless it harms the child(ren). If you want a small bill and the best experience from a divorce, it should go fast and neither side should fight over petty things. In the real world, one party is likely vengeful and spiteful and will expose themselves to attorneys fees and sanctions for being unreasonable. It doesn't always happen, but remember you can control yourself, but not the other party.
Only about 30 % of marriages end in death. That means that the odds are that there will be a dissolution of that marriage. There is no shame in moving forward toward a healthier life. This does not prevent the heavy emotions that come with the dissolution. The child(ren) if any, each party, their extended family and friends are all impacted by the relationship ending. There may be anger at the circumstances of the relationship ending. My job is to help you get through the steps, one by one without the pettiness. If I had my way, every divorce would involve the filing of paperwork, determining any custody issues near 50% each, resolving any support issues, then dividing assets and debts so that you are done within the six month waiting period. Obviously that is controlled by the parties .
What if you have children together but were not married? Well that process is not so different from a divorce. There may be a request for a blood test to ensure the relation of the parties. The Child(ren)'s best interest is still the primary rule to follow. You should still set custodial time, then child support.
We should all be free from threats to our safety and harassment from people who will not leave us alone. Therefore at times, the necessary tool is a restraining order. As with all tools this should not be overused. For every client that I've had who has deserved protection, I've had two who were falsely accused. These are serious business as they affect custody, freedom of association and possibly lead to incarceration if the orders are disregarded. If you are under a restraining order, you cannot contact the protected person. If you want a restraining order you cannot contact the person you want restrained. So if the child(ren) are sick and you need help, you can't rely on the other parent like you should be able to.
Child Support is determined by many factors but the primary two factors are gross income and time with the child(ren). Unlike Spousal Support, Child Support cannot be waived as it is in the best interest of the Child(ren) to maintain the lifestyle before their parents separated. The county Department of Child Support Services will collect support from your employer as a general rule. This is the reality of California Law.
Failure to Pay child support results in massive interest payments, the interception of tax returns, bank account levies and even incarceration. I have exonerated fathers from false interest and handled one arrearages case where the parent owed $500,000.00. You do not want that to be you.
Sometimes along with or even separate from the adult parties separating, there is reason for Child Protective Services (CPS) to be concerned about abuse or neglect. The best way to handle them is to disprove the allegations during CPS' investigation. I have resolved a few cases at this juncture, and though it's difficult it is the best way.
Once a case is filed with the Juvenile Court by CPS, they will obtain a warrant and take the child(ren.) If that is the case you must do whatever classes are required to show you are serious about keeping your child. I recommend doing double to reduce the time you are under scrutiny.
I have fought for parental and familial rights up to the State Supreme Court against CPS when they have acted improperly.
Not all of Family Law is doom and gloom. Sometimes you get to place children with families that love them. This is a special and wonderful feeling.
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